On Thursday, May 21st, as almost everyone breathing in this country knows, Stephen Colbert aired his last live show on CBS. The cowardly, obedient new dictatorship at the network, overseen by the latest toady, Bari Weiss, decided that Colbert was just too funny to continue, having offended its constant target, the inadvertently hilarious oval office squatter. Result? Off with Colbert’s head!
Of course, Weiss claimed that the show had been cancelled for “financial reasons”. Ha! Since the show had been a ratings leader and one of the successes for the network, there followed a robust round of raucous laughter. Most of us who had been following the media-shrinking attempts of David Ellison, the son of billionaire Larry Ellison (founder and Chairman of Oracle Corporation) knew that David had been working steadily to consolidate power over more and more outlets through his companies, Skydance Media and Paramount Skydance.
Not so coincidentally, the cancellation of Colbert’s popular late-night show had come only a few days after he had strongly criticized CBS for paying (bribing?) the current white house regime 16 million dollars (ostensibly to fund the white house squatter’s future presidential library, much of which can be found in his bathroom at Mar A Lago) in order to settle a questionable lawsuit over a 60 Minutes interview with Kamala Harris. (Yet to come was the cancellation of 60 Minutes, itself, by that same gleeful assassin of the First Amendment, Bari Weiss).
The 16 million dollar payoff coincided with Ellison’s plans for a massive multi billion dollar merger between Paramount (which now includes CBS) and Skydance Media, a merger that required federal regulatory approval.
Uh oh. Mustn’t make the faux king president mad! Hey! I’ve got it! Let’s fire Colbert as a sign of good will and say we did it for financial reasons. That’ll fool everybody!
So. Now there’s nowhere for a supremely talented writing staff to go. My best guess? I think they were snapped up by the president’s writing team to write their jokes.
Really. How else do you explain the official answer when asked about the 80 year-old president’s proclivity for falling asleep in virtually every important meeting, including those in the War Room in the middle of a war? The communications team answered, with a straight face, “He’s not sleeping. That was merely a long blink.” Hilarious.
I suppose the fact that his mouth is always flapping will be characterized as a long yawn? His hobbling gait, actually a long, slow cha cha?
At least when he says the war in Iran will be over “in the blink of an eye”, we now know he meant a verrry long blink.
The Ultimate 250th
Speaking of things that could only have been dreamed up by comedy writers for a good laugh—lets talk about the Ultimate America 250 joke.
Instead of a nation-wide, joyful, eye-popping, red white and blue, Declaration of Independence-reading, fireworks-filled celebration of the brave acts that led to our freedom from oppression and a new nation, we get the building of an obscene fight cage on the white house lawn and a Ultimate Fighting Championship match.
Well, it is true that the Minutemen were brave and innovative fighters, but their battles were not mere pieces of violent, bloody, phony theatre. They were some of our greatest examples of courage and sacrifice in the service of a dream of freedom.
Of course, the bone-spur draft dodger has no idea regarding any of those fine traits. For him the whole thing is about his own birthday and how many tokens and tickets he can sell to further enrich himself.
To make it even funnier, he has invited members of the armed forces to fly in from across our great nation (at their own expense) and pack the gaudy, ugly big top of mayhem he has created. Oh, but not all of our service members. Not any women or people of color who have attained the rank of senior officer. They’ve all been fired. Our obese and doddering leader wants only a pretty, buff, fit, white, crowd. The invitation states that only those who meet certain height and weight requirements will be admitted. (Under those standards, the white house pretender would be excluded).
Good job Colbert writers! Your funniest show yet and one that accomplishes Colbert’s goal of making the orange guy look even more insane and foolish. It’s Ultimate all right.
But could we go a little faster, please, toward the ultimate crash of this regime?
Well, we’re doing our part. We are showing up in ever-growing numbers to oppose burgeoning illegalities, cruelties, and international saber rattling. We are barring detention camps in our cities. Making the slush fund too toxic to support. Calling for use of the 25th Amendment. Ending the death grip he has on Congress. It’s all beginning to add up.
It’s true, our victory won’t be a joke. But, boy, will we laugh.
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